Most of us with any leadership responsibility or appetite for socializing have heard or uttered the words, “OK, I’m off to see and be seen.” Whether we say those words out of Fear of Missing Out or a need to make good on an obligation, the words don’t really evoke a sense of depth or weight.
Read MoreA friend recently sent me an article with a lengthy argument about “what the data say” when it comes to police violence against people of color, Black men in particular. The author made a logical and coherent argument, which my friend felled with one observation: “the data don’t tell the story about why moms of color still need to worry about the safety of their children in a way that I don’t.”
Read MoreWhen my older son, Pete, was 8 weeks old, I did an overnight trip with a friend. I wanted to prove that I would be able to maintain myself and my psyche, now that I had become a parent and my heartbeat was inside someone else’s chest. My plan didn’t work. As soon as my friend fell asleep, I cried until the sun came up (what a waste of sleep time in a hotel room!) and then fabricated a story about Pete refusing to eat. I was back in my mom-life 90 minutes later.
Read MoreI admit it. Sometimes I don’t feel like being a better person. I yell at my kids, even though they are a foot taller than I am and obviously bored by what I say, even at high decibels. (The shoes at the front door, again? Do they breed overnight? I can’t even.) Or I go for the joke at someone’s expense or make a snide remark about someone’s politics. I am usually thinking, as I reach for the cheap dopamine hit, “I won’t be such a jerk tomorrow.”
Read MoreWe are scrambling to make sense of things in the face of huge uncertainties in our communities, our families, our health, our work, our lives…
Read MoreA few years back, I participated in a small group discussion with a diverse group of strangers. At one point, I made a remark about overcoming the brutality of polarizing politics and leading from where we stood. Within seconds, I felt the petite black woman next to me bristle. “Easy for you to say. You know nothing about structural racism.” She turned away from me.
Read MoreThis week, we deviate from routine for a message to our community’s graduates. And please join us for this week’s guided practice, courtesy of beloved fourth-grade teacher Libby Crews Wood. It’s particularly well suited to graduation week.
Read MoreLike many of you, we paid respect to a few rays of sunshine over the weekend, hoping for a glimpse of the finest beauty in the county -- grizzly “399” and her four cubs. My first thought was solidarity with the 23 year-old mama….How long is a bear year? More than a dog year? Reminds me of the tabloid story about the sixty-something year old woman who gave birth to twins. Fortunately or unfortunately, she was hard of hearing by then…
Read MoreSmall towns keep you honest. There’s little anonymity to soften the hard edges of character flaws. I was reminded of this one hurried morning recently when I needed to grab the mail on my way to work. Of course I got stopped at a light, and when it turned green, the annoying texter in front of me failed to go. I tapped the horn, a split second longer than really necessary, changed lanes, and bustled through the intersection. As I scuttled by the blue Toyota, my look of annoyance barely muted, I recognized the nicest person in town, my pediatrician’s nurse.
Read MoreI learned about “herd mentality” growing up in Wyoming, and the memory still stings some 40 years later. I was eavesdropping on a report from the game warden as he recounted how hundreds and hundreds of sheep, scared witless by a bear, followed each other over a steep ravine, spilling like a colossal bucket of milk into the hungry jaws of the canyon. I listened, sick with the news that our beloved herd was nearly all gone. Among the lost was our pet ewe, raised as a bum lamb by my brothers and sister and me.
Read MoreWe’re conditioned to act, to do something. As we limp toward soft reopenings, we want to fortify ourselves, our families, our organizations with something mimicking the life we lived months ago. We want to regain footing amidst the uncertainty that pervades. While some of the restrictions have been lifted, and the sun shines like a super power, it is hard to shake the fear. Doubt contaminates our confidence, our open heartedness.
Read MoreThis, too, shall pass. Jackson’s predictably unpredictable weather has our moods rising and falling in synchrony with the barometer. Slips of brilliant, clear sky and simple sunlight play with our emotions, throwing bread crumbs of hopefulness. Each day brings its own creative forces to the sky’s slate, sometimes changing color from light to dark, dark to light, in a matter of hours. Sun and fresh air make normalcy and steadiness seem within reach.
Read MoreEvery day, I get at least three emails with suggestions on how to thrive in the time of social distancing and stay-at-home orders. Get creative. Learn how to run your business online, while getting into “beach body” condition. Read War and Peace. Start a new hobby. Clean out closets. Bond with your family over puzzles, cooking together, board games, crafts…
Read MoreWhen I stepped into the grocery store on Saturday, alarm bells went off in my head. I was practically sprinting down the aisles, mindlessly grabbing things that weren’t even on my list before I caught myself and paused. “What is happening here?” I thought, aware of feeling tense everywhere. Then, it hit me.
Read MoreThere is no benefit to whitewashing emotions. While we talk a lot about compassion and gratitude (both are very good), it is also important to be able to skillfully “feel what you feel.” Much of our stress and suffering comes from trying to outrun our emotions. This just adds layers of . . . well . . . stress and suffering.
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