To see and be seen.
Most of us with any leadership responsibility or appetite for socializing have heard or uttered the words, “OK, I’m off to see and be seen.” Whether we say those words out of Fear of Missing Out or a need to make good on an obligation, the words don’t really evoke a sense of depth or weight. More like something we do to cover our bases, the way kids go out of their way to be “seen” by their camera-laden parents at the homecoming dance, only to disappear to the real party after their parents leave. (Really? I’m the only one whose kids did that?)
Anyone who’s served in public office can attest to the many invitations that cross a desk, and believe it or not, this was actually my favorite part of being in office. It gave me a chance to take the mantle of the mayor’s office to a special event, and with words and attention, let people in on my hope for them.
“I see you. I recognize what you’ve done.”
It’s been long enough that my memory is largely a haze of long and mostly contentious public meetings, but I still remember my favorite events: Chase Bancroft’s Eagle Scout ceremony; the Martin Luther King Day speeches on the town square, organized by local students. Recognition of Town of Jackson employees. Every single celebration of an ordinary person doing something that they refused to let go undone, to our betterment. The gym rats who helped each other to safety after the Sinclair gas explosion. The “Poop Fairy” who spends her free time picking up bags of dog waste. Humans, you’re kind of stellar when you have your act together.
The reason I so clearly remember Chase receiving his Eagle Scout badge is that it was such a privilege to see this side of him I didn’t know, to watch his humility and success unfurl on his parents’ faces, to see how connected we were by love of our kids, our community, a shared desire to be of use. To serve.
The thing is, to really see someone or something takes time. Patience. A stance of curiosity, openness to the surprise that awaits. But the payoff is good. It’s really, really good. Here is this opportunity to see straight into another human’s experience, to give them the most precious gift there is — your full attention, a sliver of your limited time. It’s the real deal.
“You matter. I see you. Thank you.”
Mindfulness helps us cultivate that invaluable stance of curiosity and openness, the pre-requisite for really seeing someone. Below is an 8-minute breathing practice from local gem Yvette Werner. Enjoy!
This week’s guided meditation: 8-minute Square Breathing Practice
This technique, also known as “Box Breathing” is a powerful tool for stress reduction. Thank you, Yvette Werner, for sharing it with us!