Start here.
I was soaking up the remnants of good conversation with a colleague and the welcome mat of the Elk Refuge bathed in morning sunlight, waving over my shoulder as he ducked into his office entrance at the hospital. The reflection of my dogs’ wagging tails caught my eye in a window as we worked our way around the building; I stopped short, and my smile evaporated.
Although I couldn’t see through the oncology department window from the sidewalk, I knew how it looked from the beds where the drip-drip-drip of life-saving and body-crushing chemo was administered. Many months ago, I was one of the lucky ones who spent time sitting by my friend, Shelley, as the nurses delivered what they could.
This is what it’s like to be human, to be headed in one direction only to find yourself suddenly veering off in a completely different one. Sometimes the new direction means opportunity -- a promotion or a baby or a new project. Sometimes it’s a call that starts with, “I have some news.” Through memories blurred by time and tears, it’s Shelley’s face I see, perched at the foot of my hospital bed after my first son was born, her whoop I hear in my head after I got my first big client, and the January phone call that began with, “I have some news.”
It’s already been a long year, and for most of us, not a good one. Not all stories have a shiny, neat narrative. Perhaps that’s the point, to let messy be messy, to avoid dressing it up in a neat package that will camouflage the contents but not change them. Sometimes we find ourselves at an unexpected trailhead, and the best thing is to just start walking.
Start here. Let things be as they are.
For you and me, fellow humans, this means accepting that we live in a pandemic and vast uncertainty. That for many, life will go on during this time, and for others, it won’t. Calls will be made. Babies will be born. It will be messy, heartbreaking, beautiful, everything.
The practice of paying attention to what is happening in the given moment, without making it worse with a bunch of judgment or more painful with a bunch of resistance, is your golden ticket. The world is going to spin, and sometimes you’ll love the ride. Other times, you’ll feel like every atom in your body cries out, “No!”
Start there. From that place of joy or sorrow, boredom or anxiety or happiness, whatever it is … start there.
But how? First, just notice. Really notice what is going on at this moment. Acceptance is next because fighting realities like gravity or human frailty or illness are just battles we wage against ourselves. Acceptance isn’t the same as giving up. It’s more like saving your energy for what you actually can do. From there, from this place of calmer acceptance, we act, we start, and we keep starting.
This is mindfulness, the act of paying attention to this minute, here and now. It is one of the best mental wellness exercises you can find. You cannot control or change the world into a place where only good things happen, but you can practice paying attention to what is actually going on rather than add to the suffering with more worst-case scenario stories. (“The worst things in my life never actually happened,” said Mark Twain.) No need to get complicated or fancy. Put your full attention on something — a sound, your breath, the color outside your window — for a moment. Let your first steps be small. Just start.
Mental wellness is something we can all cultivate through mindfulness, and we at Becoming Jackson Whole want to make that easy for you. Through our 100 Acts of Mindfulness campaign, launching August 15, we’ll share 100 simple practices that are easy to integrate into your day as you drive, wait in line, or space out.
Looking for a few places where you can just start?
100 Acts of Mindfulness -- simple practices you can try any time, anywhere. You’ll receive a daily email starting August 15 (it comes with an easy out -- just unsubscribe!). Or you can follow the campaign on Facebook and Instagram.
Connect with us for live online mindfulness practices, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8:00 - 8:15 AM.
And join us to celebrate our community, our ability to be present in this beautiful valley, and the generosity of the Old Bill’s season when we gather for 100 Faces of Mindfulness on Thursday, September 10 at 12:00pm. Click here to register, and we’ll send you the Zoom link. Let one of the 100 faces be yours.
Just start.
This week’s Pocket Practice: find your feet
The next time you find yourself veering off in an unexpected direction — find your feet. That’s right . . . find your feet. Just notice where your feet are, on the ground, in your shoes. Just a few seconds focusing your attention can be a powerful reset.
This week’s guided meditation: Three Breaths to Let Go
Breath is an amazingly efficient tool for directing our attention to the here and now. This 10-minute practice from Kirsten Corbett uses the breath to help us respond rather than react. It is based on a meditation from Tara Brach.