Less Cattle Prod, More Balance
When I first began exploring a mindfulness practice, I was looking for something to help manage the hectic pace that comes with raising two active boys, running a business, and remembering to walk the dogs and feed the lizard. I wanted mornings not to suck as much. Could we please just get out of the house one morning with matching shoes (me), no yelling (all), and nothing missing from the backpack that would require someone to run home?
I was desperate for a calmer routine for getting out of the house—which is a nicer way of saying, I really wanted the morning departure not to leave me feeling like I had spent a half hour with a cattle prod.
I had no idea what I was doing, but the boys and I started simply, with one full minute of corralling the attention fully on the sensation of each inhale and exhale. One minute, right after breakfast. Over the school year, we worked up to three. I can’t say that miracles occurred in terms of their being consistently ready on time, with shoes tied, Big Five (hat, mittens, coat, snow boots, snow pants) and homework neatly organized. I can say that we usually got out the door with most of the things we needed, with no one—especially me—landing in a heap of frustration or using their loudest outside voice.
While it was only one or two school years before the sons revolted and decided they could “breathe on their own,” I cherish the fact that my history of learning and incorporating mindfulness into life and work is something I did alongside of them, and they, me.
On the eve of our second Becoming Jackson Whole Summit on mindfulness science and community wellness, it’s fun to take stock of the progress being made by our community.
Since the first beta Summit in 2019, we have trained nearly 100 community leaders, put a million dollars of community programming into action, offered a library of guided practices produced by BJW, and—three years after the first One Hundred Days of Mindfulness—continue to offer small doses of mindfulness practice digitally, each and every day.
We have instituted the annual TRYathlon—mindfulness, yoga, and a 5K fun-run/walk at JHMR each August—and still meet each Friday morning to Zoom for 10 minutes of guided practice, often led by one of the seven mindfulness teachers we trained.
We have worked extensively with the local police department and attracted the attention of national experts, some of whom are joining us in Jackson for the now-annual Becoming Jackson Whole Summit: Giving Rise to a Mindful Community in just over a week at the Center for the Arts. Most energizing of all: we are joined by community leaders and partners in all of these efforts, and there is a growing community appetite to become something more, together.
I am no more of a teacher today than I was when I first sat down with Pete and Silas to try to bring balance to our morning send-off. Just like within our community, though, I see progress within myself.
Four years ago, on the eve of the first science summit, I snapped at my older son in mid-sentence, and he just stopped and stared at me.
“Jeez, Mom. This mindfulness shit is really stressing you out.”
I know, I know. Language.
But Pete’s line always sticks with me as a reminder that while there is so much to be gleaned from leaning into paying attention, building focus and compassion, there is no finish line. And there is certainly, at least when it comes to me, no point where you have arrived. There is, however, much greater access to equilibrium, to regaining footing, with a regular practice running in the background of my life.
We are so excited to host global thought leaders on the psychology and neuroscience of well-being as we gather for Giving Rise to a Mindful Community. The event will kick off on the evening of June 13 with author and podcaster Dan Harris of Ten Percent Happier.
Join us, and just imagine: Where will we be four years from now?
