Where Do You Want to Go?
by Sara Flitner
My son called this morning from Laramie, wisely waiting until he was already there before telling me he was going. He left at 7 p.m. for the five-and-a-half-hour drive over snowy, dark roads where elk and deer lurk by the side of road, waiting for a good time to cross. Not all of them exhibit the same sensibility. I was glad to get the travel report after the fact.
Over the years, we’ve have had some near-misses and big dents—most famously, the time I hit a deer near Hell’s Half Acre and had to drive all the way to Jackson with the carcass stuck to the front grill of my car. You really have to hand it to Subaru. As a family, though, we have a track record of making it to our destinations alive and mostly unscathed exactly 100% of the time. Of course this perspective is not the first one that populates my mental feed. Instead, when the sons are on the road, I find myself with clammy hands or a buzz of anxiety. When I catch this, though, I remind myself I can change the channel.
Anyone who has ever learned to ski or mountain bike as heard, “Look at where you want to go, not at what you want to miss.” It only takes a few painful collisions before you adapt to this advice. It works.
Whether it’s the news feed on TV or stories you make up in your head, we all have the power to change the channel. Most of us have been taught that we have to stay informed and stay up to speed, and I am not arguing with that. I’m just asking myself, “What do you want to be current on?”
Since the helicopter crashed into a passenger jet over Washington D.C., people are all of the sudden apprehensive about flying. “So many plane crashes,” they say. The truth, as pointed out to me by said son and ChatGPT, is that the National Transportation Safety Board data show a downward trend in air accidents in the U.S., despite the number of flights increasing. It also shows that the number of air accidents in January 2025 (52), was lower than it was in January 2024 (58) and January 2023 (70). While it is true that the crashes are tragic, especially for the families affected, they are actually part of a positive trend in the general safety of flying. I’m going to wager that being up to date on the grisly details of airplane crashes is not something that adds value to your life. Full permission to change the channel.
The world may well be going to hell in a hand basket. But you are still here. And by here, I mean you are in your own community, where you can meet the eyes of your grocery store checker. Where, in my case, Lachlan will meet me back, asking “Are the dogs in your car? Can I see them?” You are here, sitting in a coffee shop realizing you know more people than you don’t. You are here, where birds you can name take flight and take your breath away, and you think to yourself, “That. That’s worth my attention.”
Look at where you want to go.