Ebb and Flow (and Feel Struggle Dissolve)

Attending Thursday morning yoga class is one of my favorite things to do. I arrive at the studio in the dark, greeted by the other regulars. It is a sweet opening to the day, amidst their company and the skillful instruction, with the sky quietly coming alive along with my body. Elizabeth, our instructor, often reads a quote, and this week’s was from Eckhart Tolle:

“As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve, and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action.”  

The first time I heard this quote more than 15 years ago, I was like, “All unhappiness dissolves? Really? Do you issue a wand with this advice?” Later, I told my sister it sounded like a word salad. “This dude is totally on drugs,” I said with obvious snark. “What a weirdo.” None of it held any meaning for me. 

Fast forward to a few years ago, when I am hiring a woman, Deb, to run operations for both of our businesses. I’m trying to dazzle her with our vision – both at Flitner Strategies and Becoming Jackson Whole – to use mindfulness, or mental fitness exercises, to develop resilience, focus, better attitudes, and higher emotional balance. I knew these were scientifically proven outcomes of the simple practice of paying close attention, on purpose, without a mental story. I thought (and talked) day and night about would could happen if we lived in a mindful society, but when I took a breath and refocused on Deb, I saw the same look on her face that I’d seen from my friend JJ. “You’re like a middle-ager who just discovered golf,” he’d teased. I raised my eyebrows. I’m not a golfer. “You’re obsessed!” he explained. “Like, um, maybe boring?”  

“Think about it,” I continued with Deb, undaunted. “If the majority of our leaders were mindful and capable of problem-solving with full attention on the problems, with innovation for other ways of looking at things, with the ability to keep their egos at bay, we could solve anything. We could solve our housing problem. We could figure out the land-use patterns that would be functional and healthy. We need mindful leaders.” Deb was new to mindfulness, but she was curious, so she accepted the job. 

Our work has certainly changed pace and course. We have been forced to practice what we preach, to ebb and flow with the challenges of our times with as much grace and clear-mindedness as possible. And while my life still does not flow “with joy and ease,” I can honestly report that my resilience is next-level. I still fall off balance, and sometimes it is as painful as hurling myself off a cliff. It’s really, really scary. And the landing is excruciating. But as I have continued my practice, which is really just 10-20 minutes a day focusing my attention on breath or sound or in sending well wishes to others, I have this new ability to regain my footing much faster. I don’t fester for days or weeks or even years anymore.    

I am not sure I’ll ever conquer my fears completely or solve for world peace, but having struggle dissolve would be so great, right? Now I feel joy arise when I pay full attention to a conversation with one of my sons or to the fur beneath my hands when I pet the dogs. It seems to help when I’m really knocked over to have a repository of “perfect moments,” as my brother-in-law used to call them, locked into my memory because I paid attention in the present.    

Apparently, I’ve also become an advocate of Tolle’s “quality, care, and love” even when I don’t realize I’m passing the Kool-Aid. Deb, who is easily one of the most competent colleagues with whom I have ever worked, told me (a year) later that while she thought the work sounded interesting and she knew her skills would be valued, she also walked away from our first conversation thinking I had a loose grip on reality.

Nope, that’s just joy and ease at work. Joy and ease.

With gratitude,

Sara 

Sara Flitner